Memorial Day Memories!

What a great month we have had! Although I resigned from my position to go back to school full time and have been sad from that, we have had a blast as a family! SK and I spent Memorial Day weekend with Grandy and Granddady and Auntie Em in Merritt Island. It was bittersweet to say goodbye to old and true friends. We were able to see SK in her element with all the attention on her and all the cookies she can eat! (What are grandparents for, right?) We also got to spend a whole day with her birthmom and Gammy in Vero Beach. We had an amazing day at the beach and taking pictures of our wonderful amazing adoptive family. SK was able to meet her brother, Aidan and spend time with him at the park. Sk is beat and exhausted from the go go going we have been doing.
A highlight on what SK has been learning...This week she has been saying "Cookie" pretty regularly and knows where they are kept. She tells you, sssshhhh right before you put her to sleep. She knows how to put her bottles together!! And she is loving a little kitchen set Grandy got her and stirs and stirs with a whisk in mixing bowls. She is also obsessed with make up brushes and knows what to do with them. Here are some pics from this month!

 SK in the naughty tree corner because she was hitting and there was no corner at the park

 SK and Mommy!

 SK playing peekaboo

 Running with sticks, oh my

 Michelle, SK and me

 Gammy, Aidan and Michelle

 Sk playing at play plus in Melbourne

This was her favorite toy.

Peter Pan Moment

Now that I'm staying home with SK, I get the joy of seeing her grow each day. As I mentioned yesterday, she's become very independent and has her own little mind and temper to match. Today was a gem of a day though as we hung out at the park and swam in the kiddie pool in our newly renovated backyard. At the park, she discovered her shadow and literally chased it giggling for about 8 minutes. Then she got mad because she was trying so hard to catch it! Silly girl. Later, we went to get in the pool and I began to rub lotion into my legs and I look down, she's gotten some lotion and is rubbing it on her legs too. She is copying everything we do now. It is quite endearing right now, hopefully we don't teach her something we wished we hadn't. I watch her try to figure things out, like how to open the baby gate and I can just see her wheels going in her head. I am so happy to watch her get up very crankily in the morning, devour blueberries, watch Mickey mouse then run run run until nap time at noon which she now naps in a toddler bed. I just put her in her bed and say night night I love you, and she smiles, kisses me and rolls over and goes to sleep! This cannot be this easy, but for now it is. And for now, I am savoring my baby girl!

It's Good To Be Back!

After a much too long hiatus from blogging (who has time when you work and are gone from your home 10-11 hours a day??), I am back to blogging. You will have to excuse the recap on our lives, for those of you who keep up with me other ways. I want to keep my blog current for Selena Kate to maybe go back and read someday.
Today was my second mother's day. I woke up to a happy and not cranky girl, who has been sleeping through the night in her big girl toddler bed. She snuggled on the couch and watched Sesame Street with me this morning (something she never does). Chad made me chocolate chip pancakes and gave me some awesome Blvgari perfume and lotion and he and SK "wrote me" the sweetest letters. I was waited on hand a foot all day and got a relaxing day watching "The Vow" and spending time in our newly re-done backyard; On a side note, we decided to RV redneckify our backyard (hey we are in LA) and put astro turf (Chad's idea) and tiki torches and lanterns to create that real RV campground elegance! :) We have had a blast spending time outside by the fire pit in our redneck RV style retreat!

I have gone back to school full time at the University of Southern California for my MSW (Master's in Social Work) and am still working on my Master's in Nonprofit Management. I am missing my work at BeauCARE terribly though but have loved being with my girl during the days now. I know this was time I was not getting back so when USC called me and told me no more deferments, I knew I needed to just go for it.
Selena Kate is 16 months now and feels like she's in her terrible twos already. hr favorite word is NO and she throws herself on the ground several time a day in fits of rage or crying. Its actually comical as she rolls all over the floor yelling NO and hitting the ground. Her little anger outbursts are concerning to me but if it gets bad we put her in the corner,otherwise we ignore her and do not even look at her. She stops as soon as she realizes we do not care or want anything to do with that! She pretty much runs everywhere now and has been scraping up he knees left and right because she's 90 to nothing all day everyday. She can go down the stairs now on her belly and thinks this is hilarious. She also stands on the couch, tables anything really and yells "Sit down" while shes doing it! We have our hands FULL!
I am looking forward to this summer and spending time with her outside at the pool and Toledo Bend Lake (our new place). We are also looking forward to Grandy and Grandaddy moving here soon! We still cannot believe they are moving here but are so excited and cannot wait.
That's it for now. Stay tuned because I plan to have more time to blog :)

Life without the beach...wah wah waaah :(

Navarre Beach, FL

Navarre Beach, FL

Merritt Island, FL

Do you see the beach??? Not near me!

I thought I would be fine away from the beach, I really did. I went to college in Mississippi for years and LOVE the mountains. I have unfortunately been reminded today of what one of Chad and my very best friend's Mike told me. He said, "Amy, you pretend you do not like the beach or the sand or the hot weather, but secretly you do. I do not think you could ever live without it." I, of course, told him he was right but not to tell anyone that.
I have, over the years, taken where I grew up for granted and pretended that the beach, the islands, the water, that it all is nice but I do not NEED it. I like to travel, right? I like the mountains, the snow, anything besides the hot, humid, sand in all the wrong places, beach! Today was one of those days, you know the kind where you realize you are an utter fool and need a Marga-daquiri-screw-a-lada-on the beach (country song)! Honestly, I have been a bit blue since moving here. While my daily mood and acceptance of my new life here is steadily improving, I cannot shake the feeling that something is missing.
It has come to my attention, since moving to Louisiana that I am, and will always be, an Island girl. As much as I want to say I am a country girl who likes the woods, wherever they are, it is not completely true. While I will always appreciate all types of nature and the setting it offers, my heart feels a bit empty with no ocean, no real body of water near me. Is that nutty or what? I have heard of people with seasonal affective disorder, you know the one where the winter seasons make them become clinically depressed? (My feeling on the validity of this diagnosis or even reality of this disease can be saved for later) I am seriously wondering if there is a disorder for being depressed when you are away from that Island life. ( I know Kenny Chesney would agree)  Maybe I am just homesick, but when I think of that life, it is not necessarily my hometown I miss. It's all of it, anywhere with the water, the beach and that laid back little tiki bar where everyone knows you and crappy bands play but you don't care because the setting is perfect!
Due to this newfound exploration of my beach life depression (BLD), I have been channeling Kenny Chesney (always a bad idea, for me at least because it usually means I am contemplative). He makes it even worse! My mom gave me a CD that was burned from a family friend's wedding and it is all of his beachy, laid back life songs. It was my CD that I would ride down Navarre Beach, through the National Seashore, the perfectly white beaches, and green clear water, and just BE!
We have two, maybe three years here in LA and I am hoping to find ways to be at peace away from the water. I am a military wife, and will not always have the luxury of being an Island girl. How I will shake this need to be near the water, I just do not know. One thing I do know is, I have sincerely taken my life growing up, my hometown and even the beginning of our marriage in Florida for granted. I misjudged my true nature and pretended I was a bit of a gypsy and could adapt where we went. I think I will always adapt, as we have no other choice when we are married to the military. Unfortunately for me, there will always be a little piece of my heart missing when I am away from that sweet, sweet Island time!

Are we really making a difference?!

I have started a new job at a non profit and feel so blessed to be moving up in my career. It only took me a month to find a great job with a great company, with a great mission! I am back to working with kids ages 6 -17 years on a daily basis through after school programming, teaching life skills classes at the alternative school and teen events on the weekends to offer a positive place and activities. Although this job is quite possibly my most challenging job yet, I am in awe as to how much influence we have on these children's lives in only spending three hours a day with them. Most of our programming is grant funded and the rest is paid out of afterschool program fees. What I am floored by, is our thoughtfulness in planning and tailoring our program for each kid regardless of what they have going in their life. We make an effort to work with the children that are struggling in other parts of their lives; whether at home, school or elsewhere.

 I stumbled upon another amazing blogger through a friend. She is also an adoptive mother of eight! That deserves some recognition! On her main blog page she has a quote by an anonymous author:
"Sometimes I want to ask God why he allows poverty, famine and injustice in the world when He could do something about it...but then again, I am afraid He might ask me the same question."

So this quote has lead me to some contemplating tonight. I am so glad to be back in the realm of working with children. I have been working with teens and young adults facing unplanned pregnancies. I still and always will have a huge heart for this and adoption but my new opportunity has given me the chance to once again work with the younger ages too.I am working with children from so many walks of life, many of whom have already faced tragedy, trials and tribulations. With all we have going on in our lives, and boy do I get it (sometimes I leave my house at 6:45 am and do not get home until 8:30 pm), what do we have left for others? I know as mothers, employees, daughters, sisters, etc. that we have so many people and responsibilities, and there are only so many hours in the day! But, what are we really doing? What are we really giving back? I used to volunteer for a mentoring program, similar to Big Brother's Big Sister's with two children whose mother was incarcerated. I made every effort to be at church and help in Sunday School; I collected items and even rescued many animals for foster care and placed them in forever homes. I did this not because my arm was twisted into it. I did this because I wanted to. It seems though that once I became a mother, moved out of state away from friends, family and my favorite volunteer activities, that I simply have not had the energy to become invested in my community again. As a military wife, it is so difficult finding a good balance. Additionally, sometimes (although most won't admit it) we hold back as military wives and do not give our "all" to life, community, friends, others. Partly, because we have lack of support systems in place but  also I have found a real reluctance to invest myself, my energy, my time. I think this is because I am afraid. I am afraid to move again when I have invested so very much energy into something I have fallen in love with. What I realized this week, tonight even more so, is that I LOVE what I do! I love my work, my new friends, and I am beginning to love and accept my new life. What I do not love is my reluctance thus far to really invest in my community. I have thrown everything into my new job, my new daughter, my new life without really thinking what my new community needs. What can I do, that I am not doing? Where can I help or do more? Why have I not found a church, found a group to attend and volunteer with? After reading this lady's blog tonight and thinking about what it means to really "give back", I realized that it was a real fear. A fear of putting everything I have into something to get nothing back and leaving before I ever see the results! This fear is not only selfish but ridiculous. We have a duty as Christians,  or even as good, moral, ethical people to always be striving to do more. This does not mean you give so much of yourself that you burn out, this just means thinking outside of the box and finding your niche. This means finding what you are good at, what you have to offer and going with it. I am so happy to once again be working with children. While adoption will and always will be one of my many passions, working with kids everyday is where I need to be. Where do you need to be? What do you have to offer that you are not offering?

The wild ride is slowing but not stopped YET!

We have finally gotten settled here at Fort Polk in Louisiana. We accepted a house on post in order to conserve finances and also due to the nature of the homes in the local community (I will leave it at that). For our first 1.5 weeks, we stayed at the Holiday Inn on Post, which was fine for the first week, but with one vehicle at the time, it became old being stuck in the hotel. The post is 100,000 acres, and many of them are wooded, so walking was not much of an option. Once we settled into the new house, Amy accepted a job as a Youth Development Program Manager at Beaucare in Deridder, Louisiana. Beaucare is a non profit that offers youth development, mentoring, tutoring, physical and recreational activities and summer and day camps for at risk and in need individuals. We are excited about this opportunity. Selena Kate is staying with a newly made friend who is orginally from, and still has family in, Pensacola! SK has taken to the baysitter well and does not cry a bit. In fact, she launched herself into the baysitter's arms on the first day and on the second day, waved bye bye to me for the very first time. This girl was born to socialize and Mama, apparently, has become boring.
Chad has settled into his new job and routine which includes what I term as "war games" where they simulate war time scenarios prior to army deployments. Chad can work long hours due to this so we are all adjusting to the new rotuine but are thankful because he is not scheduled to deploy for several years. This is a welcome change since we were coming up on his sixth deployment!
Selena Kate now crawls, waves bye bye, can almost pull herself up on her own, has two teeth, prefers adult food to baby food, although Mama doesn't give in to this, and is quite the social butterfly. She kisses herself in the mirror and kisses her babydoll if you ask her to. She giggles hysterically when you allow her to fish hook your mouth with her finger.
We have been through some large ups and downs in this past month, that include two ER trips, two trips to the doctor, getting lost in Louisiana in the middle of the night and ultimately leaving ym car in a parking lot because I was so violently sick, driving to and from Pensacola in two days to pick up our Civic, renting our house in Navarre and hopefully (as of today's acceptance of our counter offer) selling our home in Gulf Breeze. We have more hills to climb though. We still have to get the bank's acceptance of their offer, to learn the ins and outs of our new jobs and I am sure much more.
We are looking forward to time with our family in the fall when we baptize SK and hopefully during the holidays as well. All in all, it has been one of the most difficult times but somehow, we are getting through this "wild ride" and are doing so with humility and support of one another.

6 months!

July 4th

new house!

Playing

playing when I am supposed to be in bed!

Winking at Mama

7 Months and crawling

Happy Girl!

Whirlwind!!!

The remaining portion of May and all of June have been one whirlwind after another. We received orders to leave Hurlburt Field and our home in Gulf Breeze, FL to move to Ft. Polk in Louisiana. Yes, this is an army base. No, I have no clue why they would send an Airmen to an army base. What we do know is that there is a unit there that works with all branches of the military and that is what Chad will be assigned to. On top of the awful news of having to move from a place we have grown to love came with the uncertainty of myself not having a job. I have prayed, my whole life, to be a stay at home mother. I have now gotten my wish, as the community we are moving to is extremely rural and job opportunities are scarce. Trust me, I have tried. For me to gauge the value of me being away from Selena Kate, I have to know that what I am doing is what God is calling me to do, not just a job. It is more valuable to be at home with our precious blessing than to just go get a job. I am excited at this new prospect of being a stay at home mother. I am excited to have this time with my family.
Chad and I went to visit Leesville, LA (the town immediately outside of the post) and it was small. There was a nice square area, that was very southern and reminded me of the town my grandfather lives in in Georgia. The town does not have much to offer but does have a Wal-Mart, some fast food restaurants and a very small movie theater. I am hoping that this transition will help Chad and I to "get back to the basics" and focus on what are God's desires for our life. I am hoping this will remind us of our true priorities and how to make some sacrifices in order to have our family strengthened. We will be living "on post" and tried to see the inside of the houses but the housing office would not allow us. I found this frustrating and kind of annoying as we will be downsizing our square footage significantly from where we live now, and I need to know what kind of layout and rooms are there so I know what furniture to bring! But housing would  not budge on this issue. To add to the stress of this, there is a wait list for housing of up to two weeks and you cannot be added to the list until you arrive at Ft. Polk. This means, myself, SK, Chad and our two dogs will be living out of a Holiday Inn for up to two weeks. I am praying diligently that this will not last two weeks and will be given a home.
Onto the next thing, we are selling our home, (that we love so very much) in Gulf Breeze so that we can be confident in our move from two incomes to one. We have not had much luck on selling it thus far and are praying very hard that God will provide a buyer for our home. So LOTS of changes are taking place. We are trying very hard to stay positive and view this as an opportunity to strengthen our family life.

Chad's First Father's Day!

SK posing for the camera!

Laughing at Marley

Lounging and watching Mickey Mouse

BUSTED! Having too much fun in the excersaucer ;)

Taking pics on Navarre Beach

Selena Kate has blossomed in so many ways. Her hair has thickened up and is growing so much. She is in her 6 month clothing and she is not even 6 months yet. She is happy and smiles all day everyday. I could go days without hearing a cry and she is even teething and does not cry much. Her first bottom tooth cut through this week and it has made her uncomfortable but she has not been overly fussy. This month she learned that rolling was her best mode of transportation and that since Mimi (Chad's Mom) and Grandy (Amy's Mom) have been with her and us for the last 2 months that she does not have to be put down. She has gotten quite accustomed to being held or having some sort of motion and this may be tough to break when we get to Ft. Polk and Mama has things to do around the house. Whew! We have a long ride ahead of us! She LOVES bath time now again and loves her toys in the water with her. She even figured out how to pull the chain on the drain plug. STINKER! She is just the light of our lives and we cherish every moment with her.

While this move is stressful for us, it has also been stressful on our families. Our mothers have been in our homes residing with us as we prepare for this move and have been an immense help. We could not ever express the gratitude that we have felt for their presence and support. They have been Selena's best buddy on top of that. We are anxiously awaiting the movers coming to pack us up on July 6th and this day will be the day, my mother has to go home as well. What a sad day that will be! Somehow though, we have to hold on to the hope that this new place is a new chance for us to build the beautiful life we have always wanted that focuses on God, family and just being in HIS presence wherever you are and whatever you are doing.